Millitary Life Ft. Eustis

New Military Spouses…A Few Tips from Seasoned Spouses

By: Williamsburg Military Insider

Advice seasoned military spouses would give to new spouses. Here are the very insightful hints. To start is two of my favorite quotes that get me through every day:

  1. “You must do the thing which you think you cannot do “–Eleanor Roosevelt.
  2. Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass….It’s about learning to dance in the rain!  Vivian Greene
  3. Always have a back-up plan for the back-up plan to your back-up plan.
  4. Learn to patient if you already are not, almost everything involves a “sit and wait”
  5. Always take down a rank/name, date, time and summary of the conversation when speaking to someone on the phone or even in person!
  6. Regardless of what branch of the military you are affiliated with, no matter what base you are at, or even what your active duty sponsor’s job is…..the military will ride you but to make you… HURRY up and get everything done and then make you wait days, weeks, and even months to do their end of whatever it is you are trying to do.
  7. Trust your GUT. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. Talk to someone else, do something else, but go with it.
  8. Allow each duty station, each person you meet, and each career opportunity given to your soldier, to enrich your life, your knowledge, and your circle of friends. Every place will have good points and bad, but it’s only as great OR as miserable as YOU make it!
  9. Enjoy him while you have him because you never know how fast he will deploy!
  10. Trust your soldier, he loves you. Some people will try to undermine your relationship, especially during times of deployment.
  11. Pray daily and love strong.
  12. Get things in writing if they say you will get something
  13. This isn’t for the weak hearted or minds… Trust and faith go a long way! Throw out the pens and keep a pencil handy, nothing is permanent! Enjoy, it CAN be a great adventure!
  14. Always look for the blessing, not the difficulty of every new change
  15. Learn to embrace it and just enjoy it as it comes.
  16. Never be afraid to ask “What does that mean?” – And don’t let anyone make you feel stupid for not-knowing. Sooner or later someone will try.
  17. Try to think of questions, because most of the time you will not get an answer unless you know the question.
  18. Learn your spouse’s social security number! You’ll need it everywhere.
  19. You are nothing without a Power of Attorney.
  20. Stay away from drama. Don’t get pulled in. It costs just too much energy.
  21. Rely on my more seasoned friends for a lot of questions your husband might not even know the too, it’s answers to. Nice to know an answer is usually a text away.
  22. Don’t believe it until you have orders IN HAND. (Even then be cautious)
  23. Logistics, planning, and communication are how you’ll survive.
  24. Surround yourself with positive and inspiring people. Not the ones that drag you down.
  25. Hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst.
  26. “Bloom Where You are Planted!”
  27. Don’t believe everything that’s being said.
  28. Learn to ‘hear’ to everything that spouses tell you but to ‘listen’ only to a few things.
  29. Be dedicated but don’t ‘lose’ yourself in this military life.
  30. Don’t take ‘no’ for an answer. Dig deeper if you have to.
  31. When you go to see the military hospital, try to learn as much as possible about what might be wrong and the treatment you might need…….
  32. Be ‘nice’. There is so much bad and negative going around don’t contribute.
  33. Get an education and support your husband.
  34. Be proactive. If others help you be grateful.
  35. Learn about your base. Use the resources offered to your spouse and family.
  36. Take advantage of the FRG and OMBUDSMAN’s knowledge.
  37. Meet the “higher ups” in your command so they can put a face with the name.
  38. Learn not only about your base, but the surrounding area(s), the surrounding communities many times offer different groups/organizations you can get involved with, plus if you start researching the area you will feel more comfortable/prepared for it as well. I always look at maps and try to learn some of the main roads, where some of the stores off base are, the malls, children’s stores etc.
  39. Take advantage of moving every so often and TRAVEL! Not everybody has the opportunity to see the world.
  40. Get out on your own, without your sponsor; learn about the surroundings and area around you.
  41. Learn to be independent and don’t rely on your sponsor for everything because he will not be available for you at all times, especially during deployment.
  42. During deployment, don’t move back to your family in another state, if you don’t have to. Ask them to visit you, take trips to see them every once in a while, but once again – learn to be on your own.
  43. Get involved in the community, ex. spouses’ club (great way to meet people who can be great mentors, friends, and support).
  44. Ask questions, if you don’t understand something. There is nothing wrong with being curious and interested in learning.
  45. Attend different classes Family Services offer to you.
  46. Take time for yourself
  47. Everyone’s experience with the military is different; some couples never see each other, while others drive each other crazy being constantly around each other.
  48. Just because you have orders doesn’t mean they won’t get changed or cancelled at the last-minute.
  49. Learn about OPSEC and PERSEC
  50. Know that it CAN happen that he CAN’T tell you what’s going on at work.